Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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