Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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