I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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