her vagine was all disorganized.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Michael Bay diarrhea
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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