Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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