Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your penis caused this!
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