I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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