She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
