yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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