we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
