Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
