capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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