I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize