he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
