too bad you live with your parents still
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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