And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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