Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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