dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
