JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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