I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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