Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
