i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
