Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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