let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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