Jerry, you need to find god
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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