Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
