I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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