Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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