Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
