I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
