I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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