i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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