Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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