We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
