she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize