that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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