I CAN MOONWALK!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
