The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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