My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
