Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
