We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
