She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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