i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
