Don't you send me to vm
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
