Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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