After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
