Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
PANTIES FOUND
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