You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
