Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
