so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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