I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize