so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
