He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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