Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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