He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
