It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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