Ambien. No doubt about it.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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